No matter the time of year, one of my favorite questions to ask clients is: if I were to run into you at the grocery store on January 1st of next year, and I said to you, “congratulations! I’m so glad your year went exactly as you wanted! You accomplished everything you hoped you would!”
What is it that you’re standing there having accomplished? What big hairy dream did you make happen in 2019?
I ask my question that way because it forces them into a feeling instead of thinking through a list of things that have no emotion tied to them. It makes them really imagine what it will feel like for me to be so thrilled for them.
If you imagine yourself in that scenario, hopefully it gives you a really clear picture of who you are at that moment. You’re standing there feeling a feeling — hopefully a sense of excitement and pride.
So many people spend their time goal planning around the words ”I have to.” In 2019, I have to… fill in the blank. Lose weight. Start exercising. Change careers. Make more money. They plan their goals around the stuff they feel obligated to do, not the things they’re excited about! If you do that, your list of “goals” becomes an exhausting list of chores instead of the thing that will fire you up and inspire you to be your best self!
Instead of starting 2019 with “I have to,” this year, change it to “I get to!” I get to make space to care for my body. I get to grow my business. I get to grow into the person I want to be! That little change is a BIG mindset shift. I “have to” produces resistance. I “get to” produces flow.
So, if you are standing there at the grocery store with me in 2020, you’re going to say, I GOT to do this. I AM this!
Once you’ve sat down and reflected on 2018 and what you accomplished this year (which is the VITAL first step), I want you to write out your 2019 goal setting in the present tense. Not “in 2019 I will…” No. I want you to write down what you did this year that you can say to me in 2020: I AM a New York Times bestselling author. I AM an artist with 25 works sold. I AM an entrepreneur with a fast growing company and amazing clients!
Whatever your big dream for 2019 is, state it as if it’s a presumption and it’s already happened. That will attract it! Setting your goals in the present tense helps shift your mindset away from fear and toward faith in yourself. And that confidence is key to making your dreams come true!
So many women let the words “I don’t know how” stop them from ever writing down what their goal is. And that is such a big misunderstanding about goal setting. You SHOULDN’T know how! You’ve never done it before! If you’re dreaming big, then it’s a totally unknown path you’re blazing your trail through! You’re saying you don’t know how because you don’t have past experiences. Everything you’re doing by memory is stuff you’ve already done.
If the goal you’re setting feels familiar, it’s not a big enough goal! You should be saying, I’m not sure how. Instead of using that as a negative to talk you down from your dreams, say, “GREAT! Unfamiliarity is creating growth!” The fact that you don’t know how is just confirmation that should be your goal.
The voice saying “I don’t know how” is nothing more than negative self talk. Of course you don’t know how if that’s what you keep telling yourself! That voice is just your brain trying to keep you stuck, one more excuse not to get out of your comfort zone. It works its evil magic on us with the assumption that it’s a hard fact. But once we’re willing to dismiss it as a feeling instead of a fact, the spell is broken.
At the end of the day — you DO know how. You always knew how. That’s why the idea came to you and was planted within you. You have what you need to make it happen, you just haven’t done it this way before. All you have to concentrate on is the next step in front of you — which, in this case, is writing the dang goal down!
Write down your goal for 2019 and then say, what’s ONE action I can take to begin the process? Then you’ll ask what’s next. Then what’s next. You’ll get there one step at a time!
And I can help! If you’re in the area, come to one of my Ignite Your 2019 Masterclasses in Charleston (1/15), Greenville (1/25), and Charlotte (1/26). If you can’t make one of those, then hop online on January 8th and join me for my Spark Your 2019 Webinar. Together we’ll take those audacious goals of yous and create a practical plan to make them all happen this year!