It’s fascinating to me that one thing we can all agree that we want is to feel good, and everything we do is all about chasing those good feelings. We buy the big house to feel proud of it, to look good and therefore feel good. We tell ourselves, “oh, when I reach a certain level of success, then I will feel satisfied or fulfilled!” I can’t tell you how many times I say to myself, “when I finish this project, I’m going to feel so good!” It’s a habit that so many of us fall into, and it’s actually what’s holding us back…
Because I pretend that once I’ve hit that bar of success or accomplishment, then I will feel good & then, since I feel good, I’ll take time to do other things that continue to make me feel good. I’ll do yoga. Then I will meditate. Because when I’ll be successful, I’ll just magically feel so much better, so I’ll have more energy to do the things that make me feel good!
But the reality is, when I feel good, then and only then will the good stuff follow. It’s the exact opposite of how most of us go through our days: chasing success instead of cultivating feeling good first.
It’s like the science experiment we did when we were kids. They gave us a jar and some rocks and some sand. They told us somehow all of these things fit into the small jar. We immediately put the sand in first, then added the rocks, but it didn’t all fit! We learned then and there, in elementary school, that if you put the rocks in first, the sand goes all around the rocks and both fit!
The sand is our work stuff, the external success we’re always chasing. The rocks are the things we can do every day to make ourselves feel good. Those HAVE to be the foundation. And there IS a way to make it all work — success and feeling good at the same time. It feels counterintuitive, but you have to cultivate the feeling good BEFORE the success. The success comes BECAUSE you feel good. Because you’re magnetizing things to you. When you feel good, your choices become different, better.
I need to feel good about who I am and what I am, and THEN I’ll be able to show up the right way to my life! My rocks are exercise and meditation and cultivating learning by taking time to read new information that inspires me. When I take the time to do those things, the other things become easier because I already have the inspiration behind them to get them done!
What are your rocks? And are you putting those rocks in the jar first? Or are you hoping you’ll find ways to fit them in after you put all your energy into the sand? What can you do today to feel good and set yourself up for success?